Because we've all been creeped out by at least one of these ...

Some life lessons i09 would like to share courtesy The Twilight Zone.

TV: Some quick thoughts on the new season

Here's the thing about TV right now - Lost hasn't started and Battlestar Galactica is a distant memory.
And that is really harshing my television buzz, man.

Otherwise, am I liking the new season? Well ... yeah, I guess.
I'm vaguely intrigued by FlashForward, but I can't get past how they are repackaging Lost's mosaic storytelling into an urban environment with more guns (and star tattoos).
Still, the premise seems pretty tight. I'll stay tuned. And I'm hopeful that this time around, the writers have a solid endgame. Please write to that. Nobody wants a million "Hatch Tangents" like Darlton & Co. did in Lost season two.
Dollhouse's season two pilot was fun (and satisfied by fanboism by featuring two former BSG cast members - Jamie Bamber & Tahmoh Penikett). How was the story? Well, it dragged a bit and and hinged way too much on Bamber's obscenely sluggish trigger finger, but the ending set up what I hope is going to be a great second season. Too bad it looked like the ratings were some of the worst ever.
Fringe is also back. And yes, John Noble remains the only reason to watch.
The Office also returned recently and remains one of my favorite shows on television. Dwight continued his streak of manly superiority in the premiere (parkour!) and after much deliberation I've decided I'm starting to warm up to the whole Pam/Jim thing.
Hey, it only took me 3 seasons ...

Other shows to check out: ABC's Modern Family (It's got Ed O'Neill, which is reason enough). And maybe Community on NBC, although I'm still kind of neutral on that one.

TV: Robot Chicken Star Wars Episode II

Buy it.
I don't know any clearer way to say it. Buy it now, maybe?
There's over 15 minutes of extra footage spliced into the original broadcast, which all looks phenomenal. Plus, we've got more Conan O'Brien voice work (Zuckuss) a ton of extra Boba Fett footage (including hilarious outtakes from the Sarlacc skit) and even more Ewok carnage. Pretty rockin', if I do say so myself. There's some other gems, but I won't spoil them for you ...
Oh and did I mention the 90 minutes of bonus features? Video blogs, behind the scenes, a visit from the 501st Stormtrooper Legion, alternate audios ... the list goes on.
Get it or you're making a big mistakey!

TV: In the 'how hasn't this happened yet' category ...

Nickelodeon announced plans today to unveil a new logo this fall, the company's first re-branding in 25 years.
The move comes in advance of the network's 30th anniversary (Really? 30? Jeez, I'm old ...) and will replace the iconic "splat" logo with a yet-to-be unveiled trademark.
Apparently the discussion was pretty serious business, as Variety reports:

"In asking ourselves if everything could live under the splat, we decided that the splat was dated," she said. "It just couldn't be done in a streamlined way."

"Living under the splat." Interesting. Well re-brand away guys, it's about time. But I do have one request ... please don't can the slime. Thanks.

TV: In case you were wondering ...

The trailer for season four of Heroes is out. And it looks decent.
Unfortunately, it seems like the pseudo-deaths are going to be just as high this season as they were in seasons 2 and 3. But you know what? I really. Don't. Care.
HRG is (still) kicking ass and I'm pretty confident the story line with Sylar and Nathan (Sythan) is going to be good.

Whatever: Random Blatherations

In light of me having nothing coherent to say I've decided to spell out some things that have been cycling around in my head the past few weeks. And I'll do it all using the magic of bullet points!

• East of Eden is one of the greatest American books ever written. Hands down. And yeah, it's better than Grapes of Wrath. Shut up, it is. Now don't get me wrong, Grapes of Wrath is certainly an outstanding book. And if we're talking road novels here, it just might just be one of the best American books ever written. That being said, however, Grapes of Wrath is a bit overrated, especially when viewed in in light of the full spectrum of Steinbeck's later work. Steinbeck billed East of Eden as his epic masterpiece. The capstone of his career, and, well, it is people. It's his best writing. It's his best story. And the dialogue and characters are simply unforgettable. Thou mayest want to check it out, I think you'll enjoy it.
• Battlestar Galactica's ending didn't suck. (Spoilers ahead.) This statement is mainly prompted by Brad Templeton's ranting essay in which he makes the case that BSG's conclusion was, in fact, "the worst ending in the history of on-screen science fiction." I'm assuming Templeton said that just to incite tempers, and that's fine. But I mean really Brad? Really? The worst ever? Did you see Transformers? (To be fair, I didn't.) What about Hancock? Newsflash: They sucked hard. A lot harder than BSG. I'll even put my neck on the block and say BSG's ending was, in fact, pretty damn good. Yeah, you have to block a few things from your memory -- namely, the "150,000 years later" bit and the closeup cameo of Ron Moore's head. But here's some advice to all the haters: erase those scenes from your memory (I know it's tough). I'll always remember the show as ending with the panoramic shot of Adama atop the mountain surveying his new home and finally getting that much sought after rest. If you remember it there you'll have fond memories of the ending as well. Heck, you might even tear up a bit.
• Another TV thought -- season three of Heroes isn't as bad as everyone says. Let's get some perspective here. It's a show about people flying, shooting fire from their hands and sawing open heads using telekinesis. Stop taking it so seriously. Sure, some of the dialogue is cheesy. And the whole "But wait! (S)he's not really dead!" trope is annoying. But I'm still pretty interested in most of the characters. Well, okay, I really only care about Hiro, Sylar and HRG, but whatever. It's still a cool show. I'm glad it got renewed and I'm (sorta) excited about what's in store for season four.
  
• This month's edition of Fantasy and Science Fiction is one of the best I've read in years. I won't spoil any of the stories (I've posted a few blurbs about them here), but there's a lot of good writing this issue. Check it out.
• Summarizing random ideas in bullet points is a lot easier than trying to graft out a coherent narrative. I will remember this. Because I am lazy.
  

Heroes: Thoughts on season 2

So yeah, I'm still watching Heroes. And yeah, it's getting worse.
Like, it's not bad or anything, don't get me wrong. But I walked away from the Season 2 finale, which I just finished a few hours ago, and I'm still not really sure what the heck happened.

*Spoilers ahead*

Here's my first big problem. Season One had a really clear cut tension. Peter was going nuclear and he was going to take New York City with him. That's bad, man. Like really bad. We need to fix that. And that's what the heroes did. All of them, even the bad guys were motivated in some respects by that one single goal. It made for dramatic, easy-to-follow television. And it made for a great finale.

Season Two, in my opinion, anyway, didn't have that singular tension. Yeah, there's something about a "virus" (it's basically a nuke on steroids, threatening to take out the world, not just NYC), but it never really felt like this catastrophic pressing event. I mean really, couldn't Hiro just have just teleported into the storage safe in episode one, stolen the virus and the problem would have been solved? Yeah, he totally could have. And that bugged the hell out of me.
Then there was the whole thing with people dropping dead and rising and dying and rising etc. etc. It was cool with Claire and all, but now it's just getting out of hand. Nathan gets plugged in the finale and it's supposed to be all dramatic, but I'm just sitting there thinking, 'Oh neat so he'll be back like 10 minutes into the season 3 premiere, right?' (He totally is, by the way ...). Don't get me wrong, I love zombies and all, but dead is dead. Or at least it should be. (P.S. If you're going to bring people back, why not D.L.? I'm not holding my breath ...)
And what the heck was going on with Noah? The guy gets shot by Suresh for virtually no reason - other than to stage an epic slow-mo shooting scene - then rises from the dead (shocking, right?) and goes back to his family only to tell them he's alive but they'll never see him again. Uh, okay.
Why the heck would he do that? I thought his whole thing was protecting his family. Not putting them through unnecessary torture. Wouldn't he want to not, you know, completely screw with their heads and put them all in harm's way again?
And don't give me that Bob was manipulating him crap. Bob sucks. Plain and simple.

Anyway, there were plenty of things I liked about Season 2. The story with Hiro and Kensai Takezo was fantastic. And I liked how Sylar was still a huge dick (now with 50% more Mommy issues!) even without his powers to back him up. I'm excited to see how he develops into season 3.
And the Maya girl was pretty. Like really pretty. Show more of her, please.

Ascended Fanboys: Characters Who Say What the Audience Is Thinking

There's a great piece on this over at io9. Touches on several great sci-fi shows from Lost to Battlestar Galactica and Firefly. Check it out above, but here's a taste:

TV: Why I've been gone for three days ...

The short answer? I've been watching Heroes. And I can't stop.
It's taken me roughly a week to tear through season one and I'm loving every minute of it.
While I've never really followed the show in the TV press, some of my friends who are fans tell me it takes a bit of a nosedive in season three, but I'm not too worried. Even if the show was only 10 percent as good as season one, I think I'd still be entertained.
Anyway, before I get back to watching Hiro travel through time and Peter kick everyone's ass let me drop one quick short story recommendation:


"Three Leaves of Aloe" Rand B. Lee Fantasy and Science Fiction (Aug/Sept 2009) - Fun read about an Indian computer technician with a daughter who can't stop getting in fights at school. The Vice Principal's solution? Outfit the girl with an emotion inhibiting chip, but the simple task proves to be more dangerous than it seems when a relative recalls her troubled past with the technology ...
The story touches on a lot of stuff - from Buddhist ideals of supernal recognition of nonexistence
to bullying - and does it all it a fun sci-fi package. Very enjoyable.

And now, I return to the television. I promise I'll be back in better form next week!

TV: Sci-Fi network to become "Syfy" tomorrow ...

And after thinking about it, I've concluded it's a good move for the network.
Yeah, it's a PR grab, we get it. But that's not really a bad thing, is it?
Currently, the Sci-Fi network is commonly known for two things - Battlestar Galactica and B-rate monster flicks. And of the two, only one still stands. Hint: it's not Battlestar. And the misconception that the network airs nothing but crap (can't anyone remember their good shows? Taken, Mystery Science Theater, etc.) isn't really good for business.
Enter the "Syfy" brand. Billed as the hip, more-accessible side of science fiction, SyFy execs say the new station will now put more emphasis on well-written original programming filled with heavy doses of quirky humor.
Warehouse 13, a show about two Secret Service agents assigned to a fantastical factory in South Dakota, will be a perfect example of this, execs say. The series premiers tomorrow at 9/8c.
So let's hope there's something to this re-branding. With Caprica on the horizon and Stargate still running strong the network certainly has the tools to live up to their hipper billing.
Just one thing, don't cancel all the B-movies, guys. I need something to watch at 3 a.m. on Fridays.

What are your hopes for the new station?

TV: Conan final guest on Leno's 'Late Night'

Jay Leno will pass the torch to Conan O'Brien on May 29 during the final show before O'Brien officially takes over as host June 1.
According to The Feed, Leno was "remarkably unsentimental" about his departure from The Tonight Show, which he has hosted for the past 17 years.
Leno's new prime-time program will air on weekdays in the fall on NBC at 10 p.m.

The Feed reports:
Insisting that he's keeping most of his staff and not even leaving the studio lot where Tonight is shot, Leno wouldn't even allow that his recent hospitalization and first-ever missed taping a few weeks ago was an alarm bell signaling he might want to, I don't know, slow down? "No," he said, before a reporter could even finish the question. “The only alarm that went off for me then, was (thinking) this is a huge mistake: I shouldn’t have gone to hospital. If I was in Lipstick Jungle, I could have had a bullet in my head and nobody would have moved me.”

Leno also weighed in on the difficulties of his new time slot and what Conan brings to the table as host:

Why will this 10 p.m. show work?

“I think it will be harder. It’s easier going against a parade of white guys, because they’re all doing the same thing. CSI – that’s the best-looking show on television. We’re just going to offer an alternative. Do I expect to beat them at first – probably not. This is the long haul. This is an economic decision. We can do five Tonight Shows for less money than you can shoot one of these 10 o'clock dramas. If we can hold on and do well – (when dramas are in repeats); Christmas holidays, Thanksgiving, that’s when we're going to make up the difference.”

Giving any advice to Conan?

“He’s been No. 1 since day one, so I don’t think he needs any help from me. I like the guy, we’re friends. Unlike the Miss California contest, this is a peaceful transition. The key to Conan is that he’s always had material. If there was any awkwardness in performing, it was backed by strong bits and good material. He just had to grow into being a good performer.”

Other Tonight Show guests in the finale week include: Mel Gibson (May 25), Arnold Schwarzenegger (May 26) Wanda Sykes (May 27) and Billy Crystal (May 28).

TV: 'Office' celebrates 100/Alda hunts for kidney on '30 Rock'

Fans of "The Office" (NBC 9/8c) will enjoy a "toofer" tonight as the show celebrates episode 100 and the season five finale.
Okay, so this is awesome.
I've been so excited about "The Office" season finale since I learned Amy Ryan (Gone Baby, Gone) was returning as Michael's love interest, Holly, but the producers upped the ante when they announced Idris Elba (The Wire) would be back as Charles Miner, the corporate douchebag boss we all love to hate.
Episode 100 centers around the company's annual picnic and promises to make new character connections while rekindling some old fires.
Here's hoping for a random Holly/Charles hookup that leaves Michael with some sand in his face during the off season. Don't get me wrong, I love Michael, but that would just be hilarious.
Check out Margret Lyon's article for more info on episode 100, "Company Picnic."
Meanwhile, on "30 Rock," Jack's dad, Milton (Alan Alda), returns to tighten the screws on his newly found son over a badly needed kidney. Tracy speaks at a high school graduation and looks to Kenneth for advice in overcoming some of his teenage fears. Get all the details on the episode here (mild spoilers).

TV: Goodbye Dollhouse, We Hardly Knew Ye

Things aren't looking good for Dollhouse.
Last Friday's season finale racked up the show's lowest rating ever, pulling a pithy 2.8 million viewers and a 1.0/6 preliminary rating in the 18-49 demographic.
The show premiered at around a 2.0/6 rank.
Based on these numbers, Fox will likely pull the plug in this show, but Dollhouse's rough season isn't terribly surprising. The show faced a number of early hurdles including the dreaded Friday night time slot and several mandated episodes that turned off many early viewers.
Add into the mix the fact Fox paired the upstart sci-fi drama against the legendary Battlestar Galactica, and its not a stretch to say this show was doomed from the beginning.
But the plug hasn't officially been pulled yet, so I'm hopeful Joss Whedon will get another season to do his thing.
Sure, the show took some time to gather steam, but it's been nothing short of spectacular in recent weeks and Friday night's episode was no exception. Spoilers ahead!
Guest star Alan Tudyk (Firefly, Dodgeball) made another spellbinding appearance as Alpha, the uber-smart/uber-violent doll obsessed with making Echo (Eliza Dushku) his uber-smart/uber-violent partner in crime. By imprinting Echo with dozens of personalities, Alpha tries (unsucessfully) to turn Echo into Omega, his doomsday weapon, as it were, who would be able to deal the final blow to the Dollhouse.
In recent weeks Dollhouse has tackled some pretty heavy existential issues. Regular show themes center around the nature of the soul and the mutability of personalities and human consciousness. Heavy stuff. But the philosophy is always mixed in well with the action (and a fair dose of comedy) and, surprisingly, it all works. Not only that, it works really, really well.
If the show is canceled (and I really, really hope it isn't) at least the season finale did mostly wrap up the show's plot. Sure, I'd love to see more of Alan Tudyk. And yeah, I'm curious to find out if io9 has it right when they say everybody is a doll, but if Dollhouse gets boxed at least it went out on a high note.
The DVD will also feature a bonus 13th episode starring none other than geek goddess Felicia Day, so who can argue with that?

Image credit: IGN TV

FYI: I'm not dead ...

I just spent today organizing the hundreds and hundreds of CDs/DVDs I've accumulated over the years. Working at several radio stations and getting tons of free music has its upsides, yes, but the dust that was building up in my room was getting unbearable.
I should be back tomorrow.
For now, enjoy an interview with Dollhouse's Alan Tudyk (Alpha) about the "theology" of his character.

TV: Fringe - Glyph Cipher Solved

So you know those mysterious glyphs appearing before commercial breaks on Fox's science fiction drama Fringe? Apparently they aren't just decorations.
This week Internet nerds discovered the shocking truth -- each glyph stands for a letter of the alphabet.
What's more is that while the placement of the photos may have appeared random each episode, they've actually been spelling out words related to the show's theme. Pretty cool.
Breaking the code apparently wasn't that difficult, but you can check out the details over at Julian Sanchez's page. Yeah, that's the Julian Sanchez of Ars Technica fame.
Maybe Julian can get Astrid to marry him. She digs cryptologists, right?

LOST: Ben gets judged

Tonight's Lost, "Dead is Dead" (ABC 9/8c) is shaping up to be another run through Benryville.
Honestly, I can't wait.
What's even better is that according to the teaser, Mr. Smoke Monster is gonna roll into town for some "Judgment Part Deux: First it was Eko and now it's you" on Ben. Awesome!
I have to admit, I wasn't very confident about where this show was going at the end of season four, but the writers have really stepped it up this year. The storylines are compelling and, most importantly, they're actually starting to make some sense.
I never thought I'd say this about Lost, but things are finally starting to come together!
I'm even beginning to come around to some of the characters I used to hate. Yes, I actually liked last week's Kate-centric episode, "Whatever Happened, Happened." Crazy, right?
Now please, for the love of God, don't kill off Ben. That's all I'm asking!