Micro Fiction: Vol. 1 June 2009 Entry #7

Remember to send your entries along to me via e-mail. Each must be between 300-600 words and incorporate two randomly selected terms of your choosing. All entries must be written in under 30 minutes! Anyway, here goes today's experiment. Yeah, I'm really, really tired.

Randomly Selected Terms: paste/baseboard


GORMA-B-GONE FAQ

Will it kill the GOR'MA?
Yes. Our engineers have calculated the exact chemical balance required for maximum GOR'MA lethality while posing minimal chemical contamination exposure to you or yourt family. Simply load a cannister of GORMA-B-GONE into the GORMA-B-GONE dispenser and apply paste liberally along the basboards of your entire home.

What will happen to the GOR'MA?
They'll die, of course! GORMA-B-GONE's patented chemical mixture reacts uniquely with the GOR'MA body, rendering it immobile and softening its carapace to a squishy gell-like substance. GORMA-B-GONE makes it easy to flip the bulky insect over enabling you to deliver a percise killing blow. Just grip it and flip it!

What do I do with the body?
It is imperative the scent of all entrails is immediately doused. We recommend vaccuming entrails directly into an airtight cannister with GORMA-B-GUTTED line of products (sold separately).

Why must the entrails be vaccumed?
Dead GOR'MA release a pungent odor. While not fatal to humans it does have the unfortunate side effect of signaling other GOR'MA in the area.

How will other GOR'MA react to a dead GOR'MA?
Poorly. Upon killing a GOR'MA, neighboring GOR'MAS are immediately lured to the scent. It is imperative the odor be quickly doused. We recommend our line of "NO-SMELL-NO-TELL" GORMA-B-GONE products (sold separately).

I wasn't able to kill the scent. The GOR'MAS found the body.
Call the authorities immediately.

They've cut the phone line.
We're sorry. We have no entry for "cut phone line." Would you like to try another request?

GOR'MA physiology.
The GOR'MA is an insect, made up of a large, trunk-like thorax encased in four layers of rocklike chitin. Experts have characterized the insect as zenith of its species evoultionary track. The insect carries three heads and is capable of higher mental reasoning. Labrartory tests have proven GOR'MA to be quite capable fighters, especially when in large groups. Scientists believe GOR'MA orginated ...

How do I kill a GOR'MA?
GORMA-B-GONE paste will ...

Ahhhhrghhhh!!
I'm sorry I did not understand that last request. Would you like to try something else?

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You've not accessed the GORMA-B-GONE interface for 10 minutes. System shutting down in 30 seconds. To reactivate simply say 'FAQ.' Thank you. Goodbye.